There are some things a good wife won’t do to her husband in public. She might express some of these actions in private, but in public she restrains her actions in order to honor her husband.

In a healthy relationship, a wife publicly honors her husband even as he publicly honors her. (See: 5 Things Never to Do to Your Wife in Public) But even if a husband doesn’t honor his wife, these are still five actions which are unacceptable. No matter what he does, never do these things to him.

Here are 5 things never to do to your husband in public:

1. Demasculate Him. Gender is God-given; it’s at the core of who we are as humans. To mock, belittle, or question a man’s masculinity is to attack the very heart of who he is. It should never happen, but especially in public. While it might be acceptable to joke in private about your husband’s masculinity (only if it’s truly fun-loving and he is okay with it), it’s never appropriate in public.

2. Mother Him. You married a man, treat him like one. While spouses should sacrificially serve one another, you should not mother your husband. Two simple applications: First, do not talk to him the way you would talk to a child. Notice your tone. Consider your words. Determine whether or not you even have a right to speak about the issue. Second, do not make choices for him which are rightly his to make. It’s fair to influence his decisions (primarily if he asks for your influence), but honor his ability to make his own choices. For example, you can remind him what his doctor said regarding his diet, but you can’t dictate what he eats.

3. Berate Him. Disagreements must be had and your opinion needs to be known, but it should not be communicated in a condescending way–especially in public. When wives berate husbands in public it creates a deep tension–men are torn between honoring their wives and protecting their reputations. It’s a no-win situation. If they honor their wives, others see them as weak. If they stand up for themselves, they are seen as selfish. Spouses must show the utmost respect for one another while in public.  (See: 5 Ways a Husband Respects His Wife)

4. Smother Him. A couple should be best friends. They should turn to one another first and enjoy spending time with each other. However, in public settings they don’t have to spend every second together. It’s okay for him to talk with the guys while she is talking to some women. A couple can enjoy an event together without necessarily spending the whole time together. If you can’t ever be apart, you probably aren’t very good together.

5. Betray Him. Our first thought on betrayal is sexual and that’s serious, but there is a hidden form of betrayal which many women overlook. When you whisper criticism of your husband to your girlfriend, it’s a betrayal of your husband. It’s okay for your friends to know you disagree with your spouse. It’s not okay to defame his character or to show contempt to your friends just because you disagree. To dishonor him in front of others, even if he doesn’t know about it, is a betrayal of your vows. Your allegiance is with your spouse before your friends. You must show them (and him) that you care about his reputation in front of others. (See: A Litmus Test for His Love)

Each of these actions have one thing in common–respect. Some respect is earned, but a base level of respect should be given. These five actions are at that base level. No matter how your husband acts, these five things should never change.

What would be a 6th action you would add?