If you’ve got a good man, be grateful. On a regular basis, I listen to women who long for a good man.

Some haven’t found one. They desperately want a meaningful relationship, but everywhere they look are men who aren’t worthy of their time. (See: 5 Things Never to Do to Your Wife in Public)

Others thought they had found one, but time and experience has proven the men they invested in were not good.

Still others have experienced the joys of being with a good man only to have tragedy or illness take them away.

While good men are not everywhere, they are more prevalent than society often likes to admit. I’ve written about 5 Things You Must Know About Your Wife. Here is the article about men. If you have a good man, there are 5 things you must know about him.

5 Things You Must Know

1. What makes him feel like a man? Life, especially in modern society, can feel very demasculating. Society is continually trying to domesticate men. While some of that is okay, some of it is wrong. A woman needs to know what makes her man feel like a man. After hours at work, he feels like a machine. After dealing with kids, he feels like an ATM. What makes him feel masculine? What brings forth a sense of nobility and strength?

2. What makes him feel like a boy? In a good way. Many things might make him feel like a boy in a demeaning way–acting like his mother, treating him like he can’t make his own decisions, etc. But what makes him still feel fully alive like a boy? What are his passions, hobbies, and loves? What makes him laugh without worry of who is watching? What fully engages his heart? What pursuits does he enjoy which aren’t defined by achievement and success but are defined by enjoyment and participation?

3. What makes him feel like a king? One difference between adolescence and adulthood is responsibility. A man is supposed to be in charge of some thing. (Note: I’m not saying this in juxtaposition of a woman. Women have a similar need.) There is a sphere of influence in which he leads and directs. Where does his voice have a unique authority? Where is he the point-person? Where is he the one leading as you and others follow? (See: What Men Can Do for Marriage)

4. What makes him feel like friend? Manhood can be isolating. It can feel as though we are alone, unseen, and insignificant. A good man needs to feel as though he has a friend and that he is a friend. What makes him feel as though you are by his side? What causes him to know that he is not alone in his fears, struggles, or insecurities? How do you share your life to make him feel a part of it and how do you allow him to share his life so he feels as though you are with him?

5. What makes him feel like a warrior? While we might not live on the frontier any longer and our lives may not be in constant danger, there is still something in a man that needs to fight. We need to use our strengths for the well-being of others and feel as though what we are doing is important and risky. What makes your man feel as though he is fighting a worthy fight? What are his strengths which he is using for the well-being of others.

There are 5 common needs of a good man. Sadly, not every man is a good man. Some do not experience these needs and may not even desire certain elements which a good man should desire. Some might want to be treated like a king without exercising any of the responsibility which comes with the position. Others might want the adoration of the warrior without ever showing any courage. (See: When a Man Acts Like a Child)

While a woman should not feel guilt about refusing these attributes to a bad man (or an average one), she should pursue an understanding of these issues if she considers her husband a good man.