Wives have an amazing ability. Maybe it’s not universal, but it is awfully close. Nearly every wife I know has the ability to discern things which are a threat to their husbands. Whether it’s a specific temptation, a certain threat, or a specific person with whom a relationship would not be a good idea, most wives know their husbands well enough to protect them.
Husbands need to trust their wives.
The challenge is that this ability is a superpower. It’s a unique ability housed in an otherwise common vessel. There is no outward sign which would identify why a woman can do this with a man. Most husbands can’t do this with their wives. And no man can do this for himself. I might be able to identify a few things which might threaten my well-being, but they are all obvious targets. However, Jenny knows me well enough to be able to warn me about things which seem pretty benign. Because the warning is about something which seems harmless and because we can’t outwardly explain why our wives have an ability which we don’t have, the temptation is for husbands to downplay or ignore the warnings of their wives. We shouldn’t.
Without understanding or explanation, husbands should trust their wives superpower and heed their warnings.
What Wives Know
While wives know many things, there are three things which are most relevant. They know:
Friends who are bad for us. While Jenny doesn’t have to like every friend of mine, I do need to listen to her if she thinks the friendship is bad for me. There is a difference between a personality she doesn’t like compared to someone she doesn’t believe has my best interest at heart. The first she can tolerate, the second she should not. Sometimes men are blind as to how a relationship impacts them. Oftentimes, their wives see what husbands can’t. If your wife warns you about a friendship, listen.
Women who are a threat to us. Maybe the most significant aspect of a wife’s superpower is the ability to discern other women who could harm us. Wives know when the intention of another woman isn’t pure. They can identify when another woman could do us harm. Men are almost always oblivious to this. In many situations, the very attributes which raise our wife’s antenna are the very things that will peak a man’s interest. What a man sees as a woman being friendly, a wife can identify as her being flirtatious. While wives can identify many threats to a husband, nowhere is that ability more prevalent than when it comes to discerning a specific woman who is a threat to her husband. Pay attention.
Opportunities which can harm us. From the first days of marriage, wives can often identify friends and women who can threaten their husbands. But over time, they also develop an ability to discern when specific opportunities look promising but actually are great dangers. As they watch their husbands make decisions, they learn to identify the blind spots of their husbands. People have a habit of repeating poor decisions. Wives can often save their husbands from such a pattern. Maybe it’s a pattern in hiring the wrong people or undervaluing true challenges. Wives often have a way to rein in a husband’s enthusiasm and prevent us from making poor choices.
Husbands should listen to their wives, especially when they are watching out for us. This is one of the great aspects of marriage. In a healthy relationship, a strong partnership is formed. Just like a business partner should offset my weaknesses and empower my strengths, so too, my wife can protect me from others and myself.
A Note to Wives: Be careful. While you likely have a superpower, if you do not use it wisely, it will not be for the benefit of you or your husband. Some wives attempt to overuse their skill and instead of protecting their husbands, it feels as though they are mothering them. A mom continually uses her ability to protect her small child, but a wife should not do the same for her husband. Instead, her superpower should be saved for rare occasions in which it is specifically necessary. Picture your discerning ability like snake venom. It can kill any threat that comes your husband’s way, but you only have so much venom. If you use it too often, you will run out. Use it, but use it wisely.
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