The idea of being happily married is great in theory, but what does it look like in real life? While I regularly interact with couples in crisis, one of the perks of the pastorate is that I also have a good number of friends who truly are happily married. They aren’t perfect. They often have just as many struggles as any other couple. Yet they have found a way to work through the differences, navigate the difficulties, and find deep meaning in their connection with one another.

In association with the book Happiliy: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love & Last, we are launching a short video series profiling real couples who would describe themselves as being happily married.

Our first profile is of Heidi and Shannon Schmidly.

A video can be deceiving. People can easily pretend to be something that they aren’t. Yet knowing the Schmidlys there are several characteristics visible on the video which are true in real life.

Notice:

Their Gentleness. Throughout the interview, Heidi and Shannon display something which I often seen in their relationship–gentleness. They are quick to listen to one another, not talking over the other. When there is a hint of disagreement, they approach the topic without harshness. I’m sure this isn’t always the case behind close doors, but they love each other so much that they protect the other person’s dignity and worth. Gentleness is characteristic of meekness. They illustrate chapter 3 well.

Their Humility. Married 28 years, the Schmidlys could have a sense of arrogance believing they have it all figured out, but they don’t. Instead, they admit they have learned some things while still recognizing they don’t know what tomorrow holds. This is what has likely empowered them through the different seasons of life. Humility makes us continually learn new skills and not be overwhelmed by new struggles. See chapter 1 of Happily.

Their Laughter. Throughout the video and even more so in the outtakes, Heidi and Shannon laugh. They disagree over how they met and they find those differing memories funny. They joke about past mistakes and gently laugh over things they love about one another. While they never proclaim perfection or the absence of hardship, they quickly agree that they are happily married.

Happily

Being around the Schmidlys and others like them make me want to be a better husband. They motivate Jenny and I to create the best relationship we can. I wrote Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love & Last in part because I want more people to experience the joy of a good marriage. The book isn’t a magic pill. It won’t take a horrible marriage and make it good. But it can take a couple who is struggling in marriage and help them turn in the right direction. It can give some insight of how to make a good marriage better. And it can assist those who are newly married or considering marriage how to make sure they design a strong marriage from the start.

The book officially launches October 16, but if you pre-order before then, you will receive several bonus gifts. Click HERE to learn more.