In theory, it sounds wonderful–all the family gathered around the dinner table enjoying each other’s company at the holidays.
In practice, it can be disastrous–hurt feelings, careless words, vows to never do it again.
The combination of family and holidays can be toxic. The desire to have a perfect family mixed with the reality of a far from perfect family is hard enough on the average day but when the expectations of the holidays are added to the mix, the result can be horrific.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. With a little forethought, some deep-breathing, a lot of patience, and a little common-sense, we not only can endure the holidays but actually find ways to enjoy them.
Here is a reading guide to survive the Holidays:
Before the Family Arrives:
How Healthy Families Handle the Holidays This gives a good overview of what healthy families do during the holidays. Plan to incorporate some of these steps.
I Know Who Is in Charge of Your Family Before the family arrives, you need to identify the unhealthy patterns of your family and try to find a better way. Don’t allow the most emotionally unhealthy family members to dictate the whole day.
What the Smartest People Rarely Know The hidden guest at every holiday party is grief. The holidays bring out memories and emotions of loved ones who have died, expectations that have gone unmet, or dreams which haven’t been fulfilled. By becoming aware of grief, we can prevent it from silently ruling our celebration.
How to Survive the Dinner Table:
My Opinion on Your Opinions Most family fights occur because of conversation. Family members overstep their boundaries and feelings get hurt. Remember, you don’t have to agree with someone in order to love them. As a matter of fact, in most instances what they do is not your business.
We Are Happy with our Decision, Thank You While you can have less opinions about others, you also should not be greatly moved by the opinions others have about you. Here is how to deal with an over-opinionated relative who won’t mind their own business.
How to Respond to Others When They Make Bad Choices It can be difficult to know how to respond to the bad choices of others. Learn a few key principles from Jesus.
What Every Woman Should Remember:
What Every Mother-in-Law Should Know Being a mother-in-law is not easy. Allegiances are torn and it’s difficult to be supportive without over-stepping your bounds. Read this and remember your role.
How to Be a Super Mom The desire to be a super mom is great, but the way to truly accomplish the task is different than what society says.
What Every Man Should Remember:
My Wife Before My Mother If you have said “I do,” you have vowed to put your wife before your mother.
Sometimes It’s Better Not to Play While work and sports are important, there are moments in which you need to show your family they come first.
For Parents with Kids in the Home:
Don’t Gang Tackle Your Kids The day I published this article, I violated it three times. Read this before Christmas and then be amazed at how much this happens without you realizing it.
A Parenting Lesson from Jesus What would Jesus do on Christmas? Who knows, but as a parent he would probably have us crawl into the floor and play with our kids.
Don’t Let the Holidays Hurt Your Marriage:
How to Stay Happily Married During the Holidays The busyness of the season can hurt a marriage, but with some intention a couple can use the time to grow closer together.
The Easiest Way to Rejuvenate Your Marriage The holidays are full of memories, but by walking down memory lane, a couple can draw closer together remembering why they fell in love.
What Men Can Do for Marriage Not all the responsibility for a happy marriage falls on the man, but much of it does. A man often sets the climate for the relationship.
“Please” and “Thank You” Matter as Much as Sex Two statements should be said often during the holiday season–please and thank you.
