Since I wrote about my favorite Silas stories in Silas on the Sybil War, Col. Sanders, and Peeing Crooked I thought it was only fair to give equal time to his sister.

Here are a few of my favorite Ella lines:

Years ago when Ella was in preschool, I received a phone call from the principal saying there had been a problem with Ella—she had kicked one of her teachers.

When I got to school the teacher gave me a complete run down. Ella had a bad day. She didn’t follow instructions, received several times-out, and even kicked the teacher.

I spoke with Ella and asked, “Did you kick one of your teachers.”

Ella said, “Nope.”

I then proceeded to lecture Ella on the importance of truth-telling. I warned her that if she lied to me again there would be serious consequences.

I asked again, “Ella, did you kick one of your teachers.”

She said, “Nope.”

I said, “Okay, I’m going to have to discipline you.”

Ella said, “But Daddy, I’m telling the truth. I didn’t kick one of them, I kicked both of them.”

 

Ella went through a stage where she struggled to properly tell a knock-knock joke. Every joke began with “ding-dong.”

 

Ella asked, “Daddy, do you have a baby in your belly?

I responded, “Ella, I neither have a baby in my belly nor a daughter in my will.”

 

While on the way to school, Ella looked at me and said, “Daddy, I’m thinking about making some bad choices today.”

 

When our dog died I was worried that Ella would take the news hard. I told her what had happened and that we would get a new dog. To my surprise, Ella didn’t struggle with the news at all. As a matter of fact, she told everyone she met, “My dog died, but we are going to get a new one.” While I was happy she took it well, I’m afraid she took it too well. I’m now afraid if anything ever happens to me, Ella is going to tell everyone, “My Dad died, but we are going to get a new one.”

 

Because of disobedience, I put Ella in timeout. When it was over, it was time for dinner. I asked who wanted to pray and Ella volunteered. She then prayed, “Dear God, thank you for mommy not Daddy, Amen.”

 

One morning for Kindergarten, I dressed Ella in a pair of capri pants. When we got to school, her teacher asked if Jenny was out of town. I confirmed she was, but wondered how the teacher could tell so quickly. The teacher responded, “Those aren’t capri pants, those are her little brother’s pants.”

 

Sometimes, Ella gets in a hurry and fails to call something by its proper gender. This leads to a lot of strange looks when in Wal-Mart she says, “Daddy, when you were a little girl did you come to Wal-Mart?”

 

Whenever I’m getting the kids plates ready for dinner, I always set the plate down and then take one bite of whatever I want. I’ll call it a french fry tax or a chicken strip tax or a tax of whatever food I take. I deliver it so I tax it. This game backfired on me recently when at a public restaurant in a very conservative, Tea-Party-esque setting, the waitress brought our food and Ella shouted, “My Daddy loves taxes.”

 

Ella loves to sing the pick-up song, but she doesn’t actually like to do any picking up. She has already become the average American church member.

 

Once, I was lecturing Ella about lying and how we cannot do it. She looked really sad. I asked her what was wrong and she said, “But Daddy, I love to ‘roar.’” I laughed and said, “Ella, that’s being a lion. You can roar all you want, you just have to tell me the truth if you kick your brother in the face.”

 

Overheard in another room, “That Daddy, he’s a mean boy.”

 

And finally, last night Ella said, “Daddy, I’m going to make you scream like a little boy.”It’s something she causes often.

 

(Please excuse the blog maintenance. I need to embed this code for Technorati:HZC3EECP2R74)