When life falls apart, don’t make it worse.

There are a lot of other things to do or not to do, but the number 1 rule is don’t make it worse.

Life is guaranteed to fall apart. Dreams die; hopes are dashed; expectations go unmet. If your life has never fallen apart, you probably haven’t lived long enough. Life will fall apart.

When that happens, the great human temptation is to make horrible decisions which unfortunately make a bad situation worse.

• the grieving widow recklessly spends the life insurance money
• the ignored teenager seeks solace from the first boy to give her attention
• the cheated on spouse finds a fling to even the score

When life falls apart, humanity makes it worse.

We make bad decisions; we do foolish things; we fall into a hole and dig it deeper.

A majority of life’s problems are not a result of what happens to us but are a result of our responses to what happens to us.

Generally speaking, we can handle what life throws our way, but we can not afford to make those situations worse by our own poor decision making. Yet that is exactly what we do.

When something goes wrong, the number 1 focus of a person should be ensuring that they do not make a bad decision which could make the problem worse. Success in this goal can save a lifetime of turmoil.

Why?

The obvious question is: why does humanity so often make bad situations worse?

The answer is simple: it is because when life falls apart, we are in no position to make a wise decision.

When your spouse cheats, when your house burns down, when you get fired, so many emotions flood your mind that it is nearly impossible to make a wise decision, yet many decisions have to be made.

Instead of realizing our vulnerability, we ignore our need and attempt to make good decisions.

Sadly, we don’t always make good decisions when life is going good. What gives us the arrogance to think we will make good decisions when life goes bad?

When we are angry, lonely, tired, or grief stricken, we are not in a good mindset to make smart decisions.

It’s in these times that we need to:

Slow down. When life falls apart, most people feel an extreme pressure to make important decisions quickly. Rarely do important decisions have to be made quickly. By clarifying what must be decided now and what can be put off to later, we can relieve the self-imposed pressure which might force us into a bad decision. Fast decisions are rarely good decisions. If a decision can be delayed until a time when we are not in shock or grief, it should be postponed.

Seek wisdom. Rarely should we have great trust in our own abilities, but we should be especially distrustful of ourselves in the midst of difficult times. It’s in these moments in which we should be quick to seek the wisdom of others. Remember, this doesn’t necessarily mean listening to your friends, but it does mean seeking advice from knowledgeable people.

See tomorrow. When life falls apart, we don’t have to do great things. We don’t have to learn great lessons. We just need to live to see tomorrow. A day will come in which we will be in a better position to make more wise decisions. The shock will wear off, the grief will fade, decisions will be made. Yet it doesn’t have to happen now. Focus on enduring and know that when tomorrow comes, or the next day, or the next year, opportunities will present themselves in which good decisions can be made.

When life falls apart, humanity should have one major goal—don’t make it worse. Do that, and you will miles ahead of nearly every other person you know.