It is one of the most common phrases that haunts our minds. It paralyzes us in fear, creates great doubt in our minds, and keeps us from doing what is right and necessary.

“But what if somebody finds out?”

We panic at the thought that our deepest secrets might become known.

• Will our spouse still love us if they learn of our addiction?
• Will we still have a job if our boss knows who we really are?
• Will our friends abandon us if our true nature is revealed?
• Will anyone love us if they completely come to know us?

Few fears are as common as this one shared fear. In quiet moments we hear the voice, “but what if somebody finds out?”

I get uncomfortable whenever someone claims to speak for God. Outside of an honest and accurate interpretation of the Bible, if someone claims to speak for God I run the other way. Too often, people claim to speak for God as a disguise of their own words attempting to cover their own selfish desires.

But there is one thing which I can guarantee God will never say to you. Anytime you hear a voice saying, “but what if somebody finds out,” you can be assured that voice is not from God.

It’s the voice of deception. (See: Secrets Kill–Choose Life Through Honesty)

We think some things must be hidden. For us to be loved, respected, valued, and honored, we believe we have to keep up a front of goodness. Maybe not perfection, but an appearance of goodness. An act as though we have it all together. Since no one truly has their lives totally together, we hide.

Afraid of being found out, we camouflage ourselves. We cover our weaknesses, deny our struggles, and downplay our hurts. We create a public persona separate from our private selves. It’s a dual life.

As the gap between who we appear to be and who we actually are widens, the stress grows. The separation empowers our fears even more–“but what if somebody finds out.”

We write a horror story of what will happen–relationships broken, shame, isolation, and loneliness. Our story only intensifies the fear which further empowers the thought “but what if somebody finds out.”

But what if they find out?

What would happen if our struggles were known? If our weaknesses were revealed? If the facade of perfection faded away?

The truth? We would begin to find healing. The even deeper truth–we will never find healing until they are revealed.

Secrets never get better. Time doesn’t improve them. Denying them doesn’t make them go away. We can’t ignore our faults until they suddenly disappear. Life doesn’t work that way and God knows it. So He invites us to do something which goes against our common sense. He calls us to confess–to willfully tell another person the very thing we are terrified which others might find out on their own.

This doesn’t mean the key to healing is to post our deepest secrets on Facebook. Discernment is necessary regarding whom we should tell. But the truth still remains–healing from our deepest wounds is found through honesty and confession. (See: Only Tell Your Problems to Two People)

While telling others about our struggles is rarely easy at first, I regularly hear people talk about what a relief it is that someone else knows. No longer does a person feel the pressure to keep up appearances. They are now free to admit the truth and to close the gap between who they appear to be and who they are. As the gap closes, wholeness is created. Stress is relieved. And we feel a greater sense of being.

This is the kind of life to which God invites us. It’s the kind of life from which we run because we are afraid.

Do you wonder what is within you which needs to be told to another? Figure out what you are most afraid that someone else might find out. That is the very thing which most needs to be revealed.

“But what if somebody finds out?” I hope they do, because then you will have a chance to find healing.

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