Be Careful What You Preach

There are a list of words which I will not say from stage. They are ripe with peril. If I have to say them, I will slow down, say them slowly, and move on.

Sit, slit, puck, etc.

The risk is not worth the reward.

The proof of this danger was once experienced by one of my co-workers.

He was preaching in a small First Baptist Church.

Trying to make the point about the importance of Bible reading he made the statement, “The Bible was not meant to sit on a shelf.”

At least that’s what he meant to say.

When it came out, the words got twisted and what he actually said was, “The Bible was not meant to sh&%t on its self.”

While the theological accuracy of that statement cannot be debated, the effectiveness of the statement was not what the young preacher hoped.

After several minutes of hysterical laughter, the old preacher of the church had to retrieve the pulpit in hopes of restoring order.

Lesson learned—some truths are better left unsaid.

 

Try Not to Curse During the Baby Dedication

Another co-worker of mine had the funniest Baby Dedication occurrence of all-time.

Mother’s Day is a traditional time to do Baby Dedications.

All the babies and their families are lined across stage in front of a packed congregation.

Grandmothers, aunts, uncles and cousins all show up to see the child dedicated.

My co-worker has done a thousand baby dedications. It’s a simple process. The father introduces the family. The pastor interacts with the baby, makes some cute comments, and if there are small siblings of the child, he interacts with them.

On this Mother’s Day, one baby had an older sister who was maybe 4 years old.

As my co-worker came to the family, the father introduced everyone. The pastor fussed over the baby and then he leaned down to interact with the big sister.

“And how are you?” he asked.

In embarrassment she didn’t respond.

“Do you like your little brother?” he asked.

She nodded her head.

Trying to get her to say at least one thing into the microphone, he said, “That’s a pretty dress you have on.”

Then in a loud voice, to a packed church on Mother’s Day, the little girl proclaimed, “My mom says its a b&%ch to iron.”

Happy Friday.