She foolishly drank too much.

Too young to be drinking any alcoholic beverage, she drank more than anyone should ever drink. It didn’t just impair her judgment, it prevented her from having judgment.

What does a 16 year-old, scantily clad girl, passed out from alcohol deserve when at a party with hormonally charged teenage boys? SHE DESERVES TO BE PROTECTED. 

She doesn’t deserve to be mocked, groped, or raped. She wasn’t asking for it. She didn’t deserve it. (See: This Issue Shames Me More Than Any Other)

Women deserve the protection of men. They deserve men to use their God-given strength to love and support them, not to denigrate and destroy them.

In a state of vulnerability, this girl should have been safe because the men present should have protected her. Instead they abused her. She did not get what she deserved.

To claim otherwise is a complete denial of personal responsibility for the men involved and another attack on the victim of a heinous crime. (See: Alcohol–For or Against?)

What does a victim of rape deserve from society? SHE DESERVES TO BE PROTECTED.

She doesn’t deserve to be blamed. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like a co-conspirator. She deserves the compassion and empathy which should be given to any victim. Instead she has been victimized again.

It’s a habit in America. We often blame the victim.

This past year in a neighboring town, a few boys accused a teacher of sexual abuse. In response to the allegation, a rally was held—for the teacher. While I’m sure the people felt as though they were supporting their friend, the crowd was actually announcing to every abuse victim in the region that if they speak, this is the treatment they will receive. The teacher was found guilty of sexual indecency with another trial still to come. To my knowledge there has not been a rally to apologize to the victims. (See: Dealing With the Accused and the Accusers in a Small Town)

These two cases bring to mind a simple principle when dealing with wrongdoing. It seems like an obvious principle, but it is one which often takes great thought and care to implement. The principle is:

Keep the victim the victim, the perpetrator the perpetrator, and the bystanders the bystanders.

When wrongdoing occurs, always take the time to consider who is who, because if we aren’t very careful, humanity has a tendency of confusing the characters. We blame the victim, excuse the perpetrator, and accuse the bystanders.

It’s a tragic habit. It tells the victims to be quiet. It tells the perpetrator it’s not their vault. And it tells the bystanders they are to blame.

Everyone is responsible for their own decisions. At no point should we excuse others for their mistakes. However, a person forced into a situation as a bystander, deserves more grace for their mistakes than a perpetrator who caused the situation. A victim deserves compassion even though they aren’t perfect. Remembering who is who is vital to judging a situation properly.

Consider several situations in your life—at work, at home, in society—have you confused the victim, the perpetrator, and the bystanders?

For More, See:

How Football Can Protect Women

I Wouldn’t Sleep With You Either